Influence

Influence is at the heart of negotiation. It is, however, not easy to persuade others to change their attitudes, beliefs, values, or behaviors because it almost always meets resistance and the fear of losing control. Strangely, although social persuasion is an integral part of our everyday lives, most people, including negotiators, are not effective persuaders. There are several reasons for this. Firstly, human evolution did not prepare us to influence strangers because, for millions of years, we did not interact regularly with those outside our tribe. Today most of our interactions are with strangers whom we tend to perceive suspiciously. Secondly, the benefits of effective persuasion are underestimated by most people and thus they do not invest in learning and developing persuasion skills. Thirdly, most people are self-centered and, as written in the Talmud, the collection of Jewish religious laws that was written in the 4th century, we do not see things the way they are. We see things the way we are. Therefore, we tend to influence others from our subjective perspective rather than from their perspective. Effective persuaders see the reality of the situation as their counterparts do and influence them from that perspective. In this chapter, we will explore the principles and tactics of effective persuasion.