On tiptoe: Identity tension and reconciliation among Shanghai stay‐at‐home mothers

It is well documented that motherhood influences gendered outcomes in work institutions. However, how paid work influences women's private sphere and sense of self remains unclear and could vary across societies. This article focuses on identity construction among 28 college‐educated stay‐at‐home mothers in Shanghai. The findings from semi‐structured, in‐depth interviews reveal tension negotiation and reconciliation within these mothers' multiple self‐identities. Despite choosing to voluntarily leave their paid jobs and become stay‐at‐home mothers, participants differentiated between their maternal identity and their stay‐at‐home mother identity; in particular, they perceived motherhood as more valuable and socially acceptable than the choice to be a stay‐at‐home mother (i.e., participants readily identified as mothers but hesitated to describe themselves as stay‐at‐home mothers). To avoid this tension and protect their self‐image, participants incorporated aspects of their previous working identity into their stay‐at‐home mother identity, such as taking part‐time jobs and framing their childrearing experience as a future career asset. The results help explain how the notion of work shapes women's self‐image, even when they leave the labor market. Overall, the findings reinforce mothering imperatives and identities and the need to understand them from a cross‐cultural perspective in relation to societal prevailing gender norms.